Sickness Remedies

I’m very sick. I’m not dying or anything but I do feel like utter crap. So perhaps in order is a look at the design and history of several ‘remedies’ that are supposed to make you feel better.

First up: Lucozade

When I was little Lucozade was one of things that my parents gave me to perk me up- a sort of treat for being ill. I remember when I was about 12, had bronchitis and laid in bed for about a week guzzling antibiotics, my daytime TV viewing was interrupted with my grandparent delivering copious quantities of the bright orange liquid and insisting that I drink it all ‘to keep my strength up’.

For those that don’t know, Lucozade is a bright orange liquid that is essentially carbonated glucose syrup. If you drink a whole lot of it, you can get yourself on a sugar high. For a long time it was marketed as a health drink, and then a specialist sports drink, however now its aimed more at the general soft drink market. If you’ve never tasted it before – its tastes a little bit like Irn-Bru – if you’ve never tasted that, its a bit like the neat syrup used in Coca-Cola lever or wand dispensers. (If you use a self service soft drink dispenser in a McDonalds for example, that involves pushing your cup against a lever you can actually get sweeter coke by pushing the lever only very slightly so that just syrup and not carbonated water comes out).

I’m not sure it has any medicinal value whatsoever, but I reckon that if you consume your entire recommended daily allowance of sugar in one gulp you’re gonna feel awesome for a bit regardless of how ill you are.

Perhaps if we all drink enough of it, it’ll re-energise the economy!

Its even good for police officers who’ve accidentally travelled back in time to the 1970’s (Life On Mars, BBC).

Number two: Coca-Cola

I bet Coke isn’t used to being number two, after all it’s the worlds number one soft drink except in Scotland where it loses out to the aforementioned Irn-Bru (Made in Scotland from Girders)

Anyway, it used to contain cocaine, but now its just the flavour from the ‘spent’ leaves, and a whole bunch of caffeine. Like Lucozade it was originally marketed as a health drink, but now its pretty much widely accepted as a tooth rotting, expensive way of consuming vast amounts of sugar. Point of fact: in the UK it contains actual sugar, in the US its all about the high fructose corn syrup, I’ve tasted both and its definitely a different taste.

I’ve exhausted myself typing so I’m going back to vegetating.


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